Miracle of you
We’re # 7! (Deep in the heart of Texas)
November 28 2009
Someone smarted then me once said "If you not getting criticized for what you doing in the world, you are probably not doing something substantial". I've been getting lots of positive feedback from the song and some criticism thank G!d.
I have friends on both sides of the fence. Some are holding guns, some are in basements hiding, and I'm left praying and trying to figure out the lessons of war as quickly and thoroughly as possible. Usually when Hashem gives us obstacles, the sooner we figure out the lesson, the sooner the obstacle disappears, revealing a path to beauty.
About a month or two ago I was sitting in my bamboo hut on an Island in the Guld of Thailand lighting the Shabbes candles alone. My mosquito net was tied in a knot and flung over a rope to keep it out of the way. I sat ad meditated. A Geko came into the room and then left. I sat in silence and cleared my mind for a few fleeting blank moments. Then thought about what I was actually doing and what this Kabalat Shabbat ceremony was actually about for me. I began to sing and chant repeatedly the words "Lecha Dodi", "Come my Beloved". and as I chanted my thinking mind reflected "Who or what am I actually inviting?". I felt something something click and unlock inside. Something that I have known and felt but hadn't put into thinking words. I was sitting alone in a hut in front of candles having a saince of sorts, invoking an energy into the room and into my being. We are magicians you know. And in that moment I became hyper concious of which energies I wished to invoke. What do I want? What do you want? What if I could feel anything? What if I could ask to feel anything? I know I can ask, and the universe she always replies one way or another....One way or another....
===Letter to Michael, July 7th, 2008, Ko Phangan, Thailand===
===Letter Home, June 29th, Bangkok Thailand===
Bangkok, Thailand, June 12, 2008
This is the Prince and I. He's my friend that I met the first night I was in Uganda. We would spend hours and hours rolling through the countryside making up songs about life. This video took some highly skilled one handed camera work.
I HAVEN'T EATEN A SINGLE BITE OF FOOD IN 10 DAYS!
We can lift eachother up,
BIG NEWS! We started an NGO in Uganda...And your all involved. Its being registered as we speak. I think were calling it the Sustainable Ugandan Orphan Project or S.O.U.P for short...Got Soup? Now ya do.
After a song session with the kids at the Kenyan Refugee camp I sat and met with the elders. I listened. They were eager to tell me their stories. One guy, Peter, who was about my age, told me through his swollen eyes about how he'd be lynched by a mob and then had to watch as his home and all of the things he'd spent his life collecting went up in smoke. I promised him I would tell his story. So here I am. I cant imagine having something so terrible happen to you and to feel like theres no one to tell it to. It happens all the time. They had all suffered.....they had no homes....little food.....they'd seen death...yet they knew how to dance and celebrate the gift that is the moment. Amazing.
Spent yesterday rocking out Hineh Mah Tov and Lecha dodi with the most spectacular Jewish come-unity I ever did see...the Abayudaya Jews of Uganda.....They Live down a dirt road on the side of a mountain by the equator and they speak some hebrew and sing the most wonderful songs and study Torah (YouTube videos pending)...
January 1st, Fort Portal Uganda
1st day in Uganda...I rolled up to the Central bus station in Kampalah the capital...
Theres a voice in me, a small voice, that likes to pretend to know things about the future. He likes to think he knows where he is going and what will happen. I've spent the last several years gently hog-tying this voice and sitting him on a couch where he can watch my life, with all of its unforseen serendipity, unfold. These days, my hand is mostly off the rudder and my sail is flying high, catching gusts of divine wind that seem to be sending me to Uganda. Who knew? Small voice wants to add that he thinks we are going to spend time with lots of funny animals and African Jews (abhyudaya) before meeting up with an AJWS group that I will be Co-leading.
Around a Candle
Its always funny to me that most people celebrate labor day with a day off of work
Since i left your driveway....
Arkansas rainbow was mind altering. I'm in Cleveland today, Honduras tomorrow to lead a 3 week AJWS trip, next to a river in the middle of coffee country , with the goal of building a community center for them and to build a heightened sense of appreciation and awareness in us. Not sure who gains more, but thats OK.
Jerusalem in my rear view mirror and in my sights. Im driving down south through the blue ridge mountains to the rainbow gathering in Arkansas by candle lights. Old friend down the road calling, calling me back, welcome home. Cheep coffee, cheep sunglasses and gospel tunes. Endless slathers of concrete pass me by, mile makers in the corner of my eye. I feel at home on this open road beneath an endless sky. Truck-stop sits like an ancient fortified shelter town, with gaping monoliths, along some historic trade route. We the pilots of the inter-outer-State sit in greasy diners and grant our terrain battered eyeballs a moment of breath. Welcome home.
I wrote this last month in El Salvador;
Tsfat, Jerusalem, New York, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Honduras, Guatemala, New York, Cleveland, Baltimore, Philadelphia, NJ, Boston, New York, Texas (now), New York (Tomorrow), Israel in two days.
A month and a half ago, conscious UK reggae artist Pato Banton shared a few songs with us at the home of a friend/Jerusalem resident and peace activist Eliyahu McLean at a gathering of the Jerusalem Peace Makers (link to the right). Palestinians, Christians, Atheists, Jews and Buddhist singing about Universal Love. Im not sure how exactly we are going to fix all the problems out here, but Im pretty sure this is part of the answer.
I moved into the electricityless volunteer house at night and had to set up my bed by candle light. When I went to pick up my mosquito net/animal shield there was a thick hairy spider the size of my palm sitting on it. It was the type of spider that looked like an animal rather then an insect. I squished it. As I was tucking in the corners of my bed I found staring me in the face a brown scorpion. He was frozen. So was I. I squinted my eyes and drew first, for my flip flop. He scampered. I pinned him down on the mattress but he wasn't squishing. I reached down to grab for my other flip flop and the scorpion got away. I looked everywhere in that tiny room and around the bed for an hour. Nothing. I couldn't sleep in the bed knowing there was a little dude in it so I set up my hammock and fell asleep. When I woke up there was a giant stallions head four inches away from mine, through a screen window, breathing heavily. Welcome home!
Bussed it across Guatemala and hopped a river boat back to the orphanage I worked at three years ago. Millions of micro memories came flooding onto my chest. Then countless little hands all over my body giving me hugs. This is a beautiful sacred place to return to. Its amazing to see how things and people grow and stay the same.
For the last week Ive been practicing a self prescribed slowness meditation exercise. My regular pace in life is quite slow (as many of you can attest to). I've taken it to the next level. I never have to meet up with anyone, or be anywhere at anytime. I walk everywhere, on dirt foot-paths, in this mindful little meditation town, step by step. I climb cliffs by the lake like a cat in slow motion. No schedule, no where else to be, no time, only time, no distractions, divine interactions, no excuses. I swing on the swing and have no where else to be. I have a second story bungalow with my own porch tucked behind palm trees and fruit trees, by the enchanted lake thats surrounded by sheer cliffs and volcanoes. One of my Yoga teachers here I once sat in a circle with at a Rainbow Gathering in Brazil. My other Yoga teacher I celecinisticaly lived in a yoga center ashramish type place with in Massachusetts. They say its a small world. I think its huge! I've been writing endlessly and I think within the next year I will have a Book! I've been writing so much that my normal thinking voice has adopted my writing voice. Kinda scary. Once when I was a painter, when Id see a beautiful sunset or gaze at a magnificent tree, the first thing my monkey brain would do was figure out how Id mix the colors on a pallet.
Sitting back, strumming a song, in isle 26. Everyones already disembarked the plane. I´ve still got laces of heaven interwoven in my fabric and my pockets are stuffed with wild Jerusalem sage. I try to take her with me wherever I go, even here and now, in this touch and go.
"I would like to beg you....as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were a locked room or book writen in a very foreign language. Don't always search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything! Live the questions now. Perhaps someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
"If You have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come here because your liberation is bound up with mine, let us work together"
I feel....I feel like life is a giant wet, white, terrycloth towel and Im squeezing it as hard as I can. My first AJWS group leading experience in El Salvador was perfect. Heads got spun and redirected, eyes peeled open to new perspectives. We lived and worked out out out in the back country. Dirt roads with cows, pigs chickens,iguanas roaming. 97 degrees, rice and beans and endless Avocados. Planted seeds and dug out vegetable beds with one eyed pesents practicing sustainable permiculture techniques. Now Im in a fancy hotel by a pool in Managua Nicaragua waiting for my next delegation to arive.
Last night I played rainbow songs and backup guitar at a house party with reggae artist Pato Baton and friends at a gathering of the Jerusalem Peace Makers (link to the left) with Jews Christians and Palestinians. We sat, drank tea, looked eachother in the eyes and played music as one. We danced. No one spoke of politics as that would have been a lowering, a decention of our soaring spirits. It felt like heeling and fixing and tasted like hope. There must always be vision of how we want things to be thats constantly tugging us forward and for a moment the answers seemed so clear to me.
When your lost in the dark and you can't find the switch
Im swinging on vines these days in a concrete jungle where Ancient monoliths tower to the sky nearly overtaking the sun and millions of strange uniquely divine creatures bustle about in and out of endless underground catacombs always coming and going coming and going...I frolic where the sky is scraped and the night never sleeps. The air here so cold and crisp, she'll suck the heat out of any exposed surfaces she can, to gain balance and equilibrium of course. So the creatures bundle as best they can, though often they must leave there breathing tubes open and therefore exposed. The skin around the breathing hole turns pink from the reenforcements, red energy and heat transports re-assigned to the turbulent front lines. sniffle.
Christmas Eve 2006